Skillful Means: Building Your Social Support Network
Your Skillful Means, sponsored by the Wellspring Institute, is designed to be a comprehensive resource for people interested in personal growth, overcoming inner obstacles, being helpful to others, and expanding consciousness. It includes instructions in everything from common
psychological tools for dealing with negative self talk, to physical exercises for opening the body and clearing the mind, to meditation techniques for clarifying inner experience and connecting to deeper aspects of awareness, and much more.
Building Your Social Support Network
Perspectives on Self-Care
Be careful with all self-help methods (including those presented in this Bulletin), which are no substitute for working with a licensed healthcare practitioner. People vary, and what works for someone else may not be a good fit for you. When you try something, start slowly and carefully, and stop immediately if it feels bad or makes things worse.
PURPOSE/EFFECTS
Numerous studies have shown the benefits of a strong social support network. Having good friends that you can count on can help improve depression and increase feelings of happiness, self-worth, belonging, and security.
METHOD
Summary
Build your social support network by maintaining current friendships, getting involved in your community, and meeting new people.
Long Version
Cultivating and maintaining current relationships
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Make a list of friends and family members that you are close to and make an effort to connect with them regularly.
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Aim for one emotional connection (e.g. call, text, email) a day but be gentle with yourself if you don’t do that.
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Remember to keep in touch with friends when things are going well and not only when you are struggling.
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Look for opportunities to practice listening to, supporting, and encouraging your friends.
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Rotate sharing your problems with different friends instead of having only one person you always go to.
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Be aware of friends that are overly negative or leave you feeling drained.
Connecting with people in your community
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Brainstorm activities and hobbies you enjoy and look for opportunities to do them in your
community (e.g. sports teams, coaching, outdoor activities, cooking). -
Find something you are passionate about and volunteer for that cause.
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Join a gym or take exercise classes.
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Take courses at a community college or continuing education program.
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Get a pet and connect with fellow pet lovers. Pets are beneficial for your health!
Meeting new people and building friendships
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Go to social places such as coffee shops, parks, etc. where you have a higher probability of meeting people.
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Make a list of potential friends including people you know peripherally or just met and invite them to do an activity.
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Look for opportunities to meet friends of current friends.
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Make a point of accepting every invitation you can. Although this can sometimes be awkward or uncomfortable, especially if you are shy, you will find yourself in many new situations and will meet more people this way.
HISTORY
The tips provided in this method came from a variety of sources, including the National Mental Health Association and the Mayo Clinic’s online resources.
CAUTIONS
As always, practice good judgment when meeting new people, and if they make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable in any way, make sure to take care of yourself and safety.
NOTES
Tips to remember when trying to make new friends:
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Try not to take it personally if not everyone responds to your invitations or efforts.
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Remember to be patient and that making friends takes time.
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Try not to be too picky about who you hang out with initially. You can evaluate later on if you want to pursue or continue the friendship once it is formed.
SEE ALSO
EXTERNAL LINKS
Article on the benefits of friendships.
Fare Well
May you and all beings be happy, loving, and wise
The Wellspring Institute
For Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom
The Institute is a 501c3 non-profit corporation, and it publishes the Wise Brain Bulletin. The Wellspring Institute gathers, organizes, and freely offers information and methods – supported by brain science and the contemplative disciplines – for greater happiness, love, effectiveness, and wisdom. For more information about the Institute, please go to https://www.wisebrain.org/wellspring-institute.
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Posted by mkeane on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024 @ 6:36PM
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