Skillful Means: Self-Compassion Pause
Your Skillful Means, sponsored by the Wellspring Institute, is designed to be a comprehensive resource for people interested in personal growth, overcoming inner obstacles, being helpful to others, and expanding consciousness. It includes instructions in everything from common psychological tools for dealing with negative self talk, to physical exercises for opening the body and clearing the mind, to meditation techniques for clarifying inner experience and connecting to deeper aspects of awareness, and much more.
PURPOSE/EFFECTS
Self-compassion is a powerful tool you can use to improve your well-being, self confidence and resilience. Many find it easy to have compassion for others but struggle in applying this same kindness to themselves. By taking moments throughout your day to pause and practice self compassion, you can gradually increase this quality and make it a more regular habit in your life.
Perspectives on Self-Care
Be careful with all self-help methods (including those presented in this Bulletin), which are no substitute for working with a licensed healthcare practitioner. People vary, and what works for someone else may not be a good fit for you. When you try something, start slowly and carefully, and stop immediately if it feels bad or makes things worse.
METHOD
Summary
Pause a few times a day – especially when you are a feeling stressed or overwhelmed – and practice self-compassion.
Long Version
- When you find yourself stressed out in a difficult situation, take a moment to pause.
- Reach up and touch your heart, or give yourself a hug if you are comfortable with that.
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Acknowledge that you are suffering and see if you can treat yourself with as much kindness as you would a dear friend or child who was struggling.
- Offer yourself phrases of compassion, first by acknowledging your suffering:
- “This is suffering.” or “This is really painful/difficult right now.” or “Wow, I am really suffering right now!” “Suffering is a part of being human.”
- For the final phrase(s), choose whatever is most appropriate for your situation. Feel free to use any of the following phrases or create your own:
- May I hold myself with compassion.
- May I love and accept myself just as I am.
- May I experience peace.
- May I remember to treat myself with love and kindness.
- May I open to my experience just as it is.
HISTORY
This method was adapted from the Self-Compassion Pause used in Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer’s Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) training program. For more information about their program and about self-compassion, visit
http://www.mindfulselfcompassion.org/ and http://selfcompassion.org/.
SEE ALSO
EXTERNAL LINKS
Various guided self-compassion meditations by Christopher Germer can be found at https://chrisgermer.com/meditations/.
Fare Well
May you and all beings be happy, loving, and wise
The Wellspring Institute
For Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom
The Institute is a 501c3 non-profit corporation, and it publishes the Wise Brain Bulletin. The Wellspring Institute gathers, organizes, and freely offers information and methods – supported by brain science and the contemplative disciplines – for greater happiness, love, effectiveness, and wisdom. For more information about the Institute, please go to https://www.wisebrain.org/wellspring-institute.
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Posted by mkeane on Thursday, February 23rd, 2023 @ 11:34PM
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